Parenting techniques: Are we condescending to our kids?

Condescending to our kids?

I have a Google Community that I moderate on Parenting Tips – and we are sharing some great stuff on there, so come on in and join us!

This week, Janet Dubac from The Catholic Gift Shop shared this rather interesting video from You Tube, which was created by Roslyn Ross as part of her thesis. This thesis discusses parenting techniques and disagrees with the use of the “carrot and the stick” within parenting, proposing a “relationship mum” concept; where everything the parent does is focused on the development and strength of the relationship between parent and child, rather than what Roslyn views as a more “controlling” approach where we see parenting as a job.

I am afraid that this is a debate for another time, as I suspect that we will always be agreeing to disagree here, but…

The video itself is very clever, it demonstrates how we show kids how to behave, but using two adults instead of the children. It is clearly belittling in this context, as well as rather funny….

There are some interesting ideas within this, about making sure your child has a voice, and that you treat them as much as an equal as possible.

As parents we are here to help teach our children how to behave; and perhaps the video is missing that mark somewhat?

Isn’t it OK to teach them about being polite, as long as its done reasonably? How else will they learn otherwise?

The dummy moment in this video is very funny, as it is such an extreme moment; who gives a dummy to an adult?!?!

However, for younger babies, isn’t the dummy used when the child just wants to suck, and that’s actually not shutting them up, its providing them with an alternative form of comfort? For example, reflux babies want to suck constantly because it eases the pain, but giving them the breast would exacerbate the reflux, so a dummy is a helpful solution. I would totally agree that dummies for older children as a means to quieten them is not necessarily the best parenting solution….

As comedy, this is great, as a parenting techniques advice video…perhaps is just not as simple as this makes out – I suspect so, its all about balance as always in parenting..

Helen Neale

Helen is a mum to two, social media consultant, website editor and a qualified counsellor with experience of working with both children and adults.She is a registered member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapists, with her own private practise. She also freelances with her local Mind organisation.Since giving up being a business analyst when juggling travel, work and kids proved too complicated, she founded KiddyCharts so she could be with her kids, use those grey cells at the same time, and supplement her counselling income.KiddyCharts has reach of over 680k across socials and the site. The site works with big family brands to help promote their services, as well as offering free resources to parents of kids under 10. She is a specialist counsellor for neurodivergent individuals and brings this expertise to her resources and the site. She is also an ADHDer herself.KiddyCharts gives 51%+ profits to charities, focused on supporting mental health and a community in TanzaniaHelen has also worked as a digital marketing consultant (IDM qualified) with various organisations, including Channel Mum, Truprint, Talk to Mums, and Micro Scooters. She loves to be creative in the brand campaigns she works on.Get in touch TODAY!