When it comes to raising our kids we all do the best that we can. We can follow our parent’s advice or read every book under the sun. Some of us may just even wing it! Ultimately, it comes down to a combination of knowledge and intuitiveness that comes with being living, breathing, human beings. Add to that our cultures, environments, and an overall different lens to see things through. Have you ever thought to yourself, “What’s my parenting style”?
It can be said that we all have a parenting style. Some of us are more relaxed, some more strict, and the list goes on. But did you know that there are actually 4 parenting styles that will affect your kids’ lives – from the type of partner they choose to the type of job they will have in the future?
Let’s have a look and see what the parenting styles are and where we see a bit of ourselves, or even our parents!
One thing to note is that these parenting styles take into account how demanding vs how nurturing we are as parents.
To picture an authoritarian parent think of a parent who believes in a “children should be seen and not heard” attitude. As the name implies, an authoritarian parent believes that they are the authority over the child. They expect total obedience from a child.
This type of parent is very demanding but believes that showing nurturing behaviour can undermine what they are trying to achieve. Many times it all comes from a good place, but the approach isn’t always successful.
Whilst this can be positive in terms of kids knowing boundaries and doing what needs to be done it also creates a child who can predict what you are going to say and will fee that they need to lie to save themselves a punishment.
The opposite of an authoritarian parent is a permissive parent. This type of parent allows, or permits, their children to do as they please. Their focus is on giving love and affection to the children without there being any demands. This parental type doesn’t feel comfortable with their children experiencing disappointment.
Kids with these type of parents feel that the boundaries are blurred and don’t know limits. The child doesn’t trust and believe what the parent is saying or take it at face value. This happens as they know that throwing a tantrum can change the outcome to their favour because their parents can’t really take that on.
Uninvolved (neglectful) style
A parent with this parenting style tends to be overwhelmed with life. The demands they set on their children are low and their nurturing level is low. This leads to parents that are absent, not because they don’t love their kids, but because they can’t cope with the responsibilities of it all.
Permissive parents don’t know what their kid is studying in school, who their friends are, or even what sort of hobbies their kids enjoy.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that a permissive parent is neglectful. But a permissive parenting type of parent finds it difficult to cope with the stress that comes from not only having to fend for themselves and be in control of their own lives, but also do that for their kids’ lives.
Authoritative parenting is the style of parenting that leads to the most positive outcomes for children and families. This style of parenting is one where there is a high level of nurturing and respect as well as high demands.
There is more of a balance with this parenting style as your kids know there is consistency with your disciplining but they know that it will be done in a fair manner. Your children will feel heard and understood but know that there are expectations that need to be met.
The communication between parent and child is more open and kids feel heard and understood.
Whatever you may have identified with as your parenting style just know that there is no wrong or right way to parent. There are many factors that lead to your parenting style, some which have to do with the way that you were raised. Those of which ultimately, are out of your control.
We would love to know where you feel you fit in?
If you are looking for more parenting tips, check these articles out. I hope they help you find your way through parenting.
- Why do we continue to promote “perfection” to our kids on social media?
- This post is perfect if you need helping knowing when your child is ready for their first phone.
- If you need advice with social media then this post on preventing social media being a battle ground with your teenagers is a must read.
Thank you for stopping by and see you in the next post.