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Peer pressure for mums – do other parents really have it all?


peer pressure

Not only are our children faced with peer pressure but so are we as parents.

It seems to start from when we have a baby: Are they sleeping through the night, crawling or walking? Which school are they going to go to? Which activities are they doing?

There are some Mums who always look immaculate, have a job and handle everything motherhood throws at them effortless but do we really know the whole story?

There are times when we need to believe in ourselves.

There is no right or wrong time for many of these baby milestones. They will crawl when they are ready or they may skip it altogether; bum shuffle and then walk.

Appearances can be deceptive. Not everyone who seems to have everything sorted may have, they may face difficulties in areas we don’t know about.

One of the things I have struggled with as my children have grown is the number of activities they do. The one thing we have always insisted upon is swimming lessons as that could save their lives.

Not sure a spot of ballet falls into quite the same category?

There are some families where the children seem to be doing something every night of the week and I have found myself questioning what my children do.

I should also think about my own reactions … the sentence I just wrote said ‘seem to do’. That is my opinion and I may be making my own inaccurate conclusions.

What I need to do is trust in myself that I make the right decisions according to our family’s finances, interests and energy.

Ask yourself

If you struggle with similar things here are some questions to ask yourself

  • Do I want to spend every night after school taking them to and from things?
  • What effect will those lessons really have on my child’s future?
  • Are they too busy and never have time to learn to amuse themselves?
  • Do they have time for play dates and for homework?
  • Are the children really interested or is it because another friend is doing it or you want them to do it?

It is in our nature to want to give our children both things and opportunities we never had but we do have to be careful that we are not trying to live our lives through them.

We also need to beware of comparisons; we may not know all the facts, perhaps that extra activity was a present.

Finally we all need to believe in our own parenting skills. We do know what is best for our own children and our families.

Have you ever responded to peer pressure?  Have you felt that you should always look well dressed or your children should take part in every activity going?  As usual, we would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.

Beckie is a mum to three kids, and works in the Cambridge area as a coach. Feel free to get in contact for a no obligation discussion.

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Vicky Turbin

Wednesday 18th of June 2014

Well our kids used to do a lot more when they wrre younger just to try different things. Now the middle child does drama, orchestra, clarinet, guides and horse riding. Also swims twice a week with a competitive swim club. Sounds like a lot but with car shares it works out fine. She's loving all the challenges and is a great kid. I never got to do anything as a kid except for brownies and I was bored witless! I guess it's down to each individual family what they value and can afford!

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