Last week I was at parenting course for teenagers where we were discussing anger – both that of our teen and ourselves as the parent. There followed a top tip of things to remember when being faced with anger which I thought I must share. I think it applies to our-selves and younger school age children as well.
• Are they or you hungry
• Are they or you anxious
• Are they or you tired
Tired children
I expect many of you are familiar with these. The tired child will be completely distraught over something that normally wouldn’t faze them at all or maybe we over react at something because we are so tired and it all feels a bit much.
Then loneliness was mentioned and I thought …. when I haven’t spoken to another adult all day I sometimes find the children very difficult. I had always put that down to being tired but I wonder if that might be a form of loneliness – no one to talk on my level. This, too, may affect our children.
The weather
The other thing that I wanted to add to that was the weather. I find that can affect the children’s behaviour. If it’s very windy they can be a bit all over the place and my Dad, who has been a teacher for many years. agrees children can be more difficult generally when it’s windy. Also if it’s very hot and close we all become a bit listless and don’t quite know what to do with ourselves which can very easily bubble over into irritation and then anger.
It may be good to check these things to help us both deal with, and understand angry outbursts or behaviour from our children and ourselves.
I know that sometimes I think you are hungry again but we needn’t always give sweet snacks. In fact that’s how I know sometimes the child in question is really hungry as fruit, a sandwich or oatcakes are demolished happily.
How do you manage anger in yourselves or your children? Do you have any top tips to add?
Beckie Whitehouse
Beckie is a mum to three kids, and works in the Cambridge area as a coach. Feel free to get in contact for a no obligation discussion.