Becoming a parent is one of the most magical experiences you can go through in life, but being a mum is never easy. It’s very common for parents to go through periods when they lack confidence, especially during the early days. In this guide, we’ll outline how to boost confidence as a mum.
This is a collaborative post.
1. Try to avoid making comparisons
Human beings are conditioned to compare themselves to others. It’s very easy to get carried away scrolling through social media, looking at other people’s photos and reading stories about celebrity mums in magazines and emerge feeling inadequate, anxious or overwhelmed. In reality, every parent struggles and nobody is perfect. Try to avoid making comparisons with others. Everyone moves at a different pace and every experience of being a mum is unique. Focus on your health and well-being and that of your child and don’t feel pressured to fit within a mould or panic if you don’t hit specific milestones on time.
2. Treat yourself
Mums are notoriously brilliant at devoting time, effort and energy to other people. When you welcome a baby into the world, they become the centre of the universe for you, but this shouldn’t mean neglecting yourself. Treat yourself from time to time. Take a break and run a hot bubble bath, take advantage of offers to babysit and catch up with friends for a coffee, or look at party dresses online and plan a date night with your partner. The simplest things can make a big difference when you’re rushing around after children and spending all your time looking after others.
3. Be kinder to yourself
Most mums will feel guilty, put themselves down or go through periods when they question if they are good enough. It’s natural to experience a range of emotions when you’re a parent and to feel like life is a roller coaster ride, but it’s important to recognise the job you are doing. You can only do your best. Be kinder to yourself. Whether you’re low on confidence because your body has changed since giving birth and you hate looking in the mirror, or you feel like you’re not getting everything right as a new mum, try to treat yourself as you would your closest friends or family members.
4. Focus on your health
Our health tends to take a backseat when we’re looking after children. If you have a busy schedule, things like exercise and cooking healthy meals may go out of the window. If this scenario sounds familiar, take a step back and start focusing on your health. Make time for regular exercise, eat well, get as much rest and sleep as you can and try to make time for your hobbies and interests. Even if you can only manage 15 minutes of jogging per day or a couple of yoga sessions per week, this will make a positive difference to your body and mind. Look for quick and easy healthy recipes online and try to get into a sleep routine that fits around your child.
5. Practice positive self-talk
Negative thoughts often creep into our minds in moments of self-doubt or insecurity, but it’s important to remember that these thoughts don’t have to define us or our abilities as mums. Practicing positive self-talk and focusing on our strengths is an important part of building self-confidence, reducing feelings of insecurity, and boosting our overall wellbeing. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can each day and acknowledging your successes will help build your confidence in both yourself and your parenting skills.
6. Be aware of life’s ups and downs
When something does set you back, remind yourself that everything will be alright when life throws us a curveball. It can often feel like the world is crashing down around us. It’s important to remember that this too shall pass, and that we have the capacity to cope with anything that comes our way.
Take some time out for yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious, focus on your breathing, and remind yourself that everything will be alright. Life is full of highs and lows, but with the right attitude we can make sure we’re always smiling through it all!
7. Getting it wrong is all part of learning
Don’t worry about the mistakes you, or indeed your child, makes. Both you and your child can develop resilience and learn from their mistakes. This enables you to be the mother you want to be, and them to develop the capacity to solve their own problems as they grow. In turn, enabling them to become independent learners.
Mistakes are part of the learning process; don’t be afraid to try something new even if you make a few errors along the way. As long as your child is having fun in their learning journey, they will be more likely to enjoy it and be eager to learn more. Encourage them to keep going and talk about what they’ve achieved, no matter how small. Through this positive reinforcement you can encourage a ‘can do’ attitude in your child – one of the most important lessons to learn for success!
Many mums experience a loss of confidence. Being a parent is a full-time job and it’s incredibly tough at times. Try to avoid making comparisons with other people, treat yourself and be kinder to yourself. Focus on your mental and physical health and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
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