Sometimes it seems like kids feel entitled to talk back and be disrespectful children. They often don’t want to listen to parents, saying, “You can’t tell me what to do!” This causes friction in the household and makes mum and dad feel anxious and frustrated. To help, when you feel your kids aren’t listening; you can try using one of KiddyChart’s reward charts or progress charts. They are great for children up to the age of nine or ten.
But remember, we all have bad days as parents, and there are things you can do to remain calm with disrespectful children. Here are a few tips when it comes to disciplining kids and maintaining calm in the home:
- Make a commitment to be calm. As the parent, it’s your responsibility to lead by example. If you’re calm your kids are more likely to calm down, too. Take charge and promise yourself you’ll no longer let yourself be emotionally pulled into arguments, even when your child is pushing your buttons. I know how hard it can seem to stay calm, but you’ll find that having that emotional distance allows you to be more objective and rational.
- Establish rules and boundaries. Communicate to your children that they are expected to follow these rules. Say “no” when necessary—take a stand if it is in the child’s best interest. Before deciding on a rule or how to discipline, have a talk with your partner to make a game plan. Establishing rules helps everyone to feel calmer.
- Pause, breathe…and wait. Don’t immediately respond just because you’re in the heat of the moment. Take the time you need to gather your thoughts, ground yourself and think about how you’ll handle the situation. This could mean going to your room, reading a book or doing something soothing. Finding the space between your child’s action and your reaction allows you to calm down. Know when to step back and breathe, breathe, breathe at those times.
- Question instead of judge. When you are ready to talk instead of scream, ask yourself, “What’s going on? How can I communicate in a calm way?” If your child is still upset, say to him, “We’re not going to talk about this until you calm down. I’m going to give you time to think. Let me know when you’re ready to talk later.” This way, both you and your child will have time to cool off, think clearly and be proactive instead of reactive.
Be there for your kids as a support and for guidance. Be open and respectful to your children and that will help them eventually open up and be willing to be influenced by you. Remember that backtalk and arguments may take some time to resolve, but you can make it happen. Do, however, expect respect and make it clear.
By following these tips, it is possible to reduce the stress in your home and get on the path to calm. Remember: The only person you have control of is yourself. So, take charge and commit to staying calm. It seems like a simple idea, but you will be surprised how your kids will react. Calm is contagious, and if parents are calm, kids will soon learn the importance of getting control of their emotions as well.
Do you have any tips for calming disrespectful children? If you do, let us know below.
Photo provided by the guest blogger.