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School reports: Just Forget The Numbers

school report

I got annoyed with myself recently.  Really annoyed.  A “why on earth did I do that?” annoyed.

Both T and D’s school reports came home before the end of term and they were fantastic, for them. Both extremely positive, both proof that D is in the right setting in her SN school and that T has flourished under the autism-positive regime at his mainstream school.

I am extremely proud of them both.

But then, me being me, I looked at those funny little numbers that accompanied T’s report which showed that he is working “above expectations” in all his subjects and in some topics, two years ahead.

I then looked at D’s numbers and because they were so much lower than T’s, I researched. I discovered that those gradings mean she is at a year 2 level in most subjects and some a year 1 – she’s in a year 5 class.

Why did I do that? Compare my two wonderfully individual children, who both just happen to have this “label” autism?

I don’t need some grading system to acknowledge that D is way below T’s intellectual level. I know that. I live with them. I see T’s frustration when we’re attempting a family activity and D just doesn’t get what she’s meant to be doing.

Like I mentioned in my What’s in a number post, special needs parenting means that, to a certain extent, you forget about the “numbers”, you focus on your child’s strengths, you adopt a “can do” approach. Dismiss the negatives to the back of your mind and just be grateful of just how much they have achieved….because I am.

What did you think of your child’s school report?  Do you find yourself comparing your children with each other?  Share your stories with us in the comments below.

Family Friday

Sometimes I feel like a brand but I'm me, a commuting career woman in a previous "life", now a stay-at-home Mumma to two wonderful children, who just happen to have autism too. One at each end of the spectrum, one diagnosed at 4.5 years old and the other, very recently at 10.5 years. I blog to raise awareness and acceptance of autism for them and everyone connected with the autistic spectrum (there's an ever-growing number of us!) Very humbled to have been shortlisted in the Brilliance In Blogging awards for my website. That would be me, @AutismMumma aka Jeannette

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Stacey Guilliatt

Friday 8th of August 2014

We're not at that stage yet but with just under 2 years between them i'm sure I will compare when it comes to it #FamilyFriday


Wednesday 6th of August 2014

I think it's easier said than done to rise above stuff like this, but good job if you are able to manage it! I definitely agree that you have a greater grasp of your own child's achievements compared to numbers on a bit of paper. Thanks for linking up #FamilyFriday

Katie (

Friday 1st of August 2014

My eldest children are twins so I am forever comparing them, even though I try my very hardest not to. Oh, and I detest modern 'pick a sentence' school reports. I glance over all of that but only really read the hand written bits by the teachers. #FamilyFriday

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