School reports: Just Forget The Numbers

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school report

 

I got annoyed with myself recently.  Really annoyed.  A “why on earth did I do that?” annoyed.

Both T and D’s school reports came home before the end of term and they were fantastic, for them. Both extremely positive, both proof that D is in the right setting in her SN school and that T has flourished under the autism-positive regime at his mainstream school.

I am extremely proud of them both.

But then, me being me, I looked at those funny little numbers that accompanied T’s report which showed that he is working “above expectations” in all his subjects and in some topics, two years ahead.

I then looked at D’s numbers and because they were so much lower than T’s, I researched. I discovered that those gradings mean she is at a year 2 level in most subjects and some a year 1 – she’s in a year 5 class.

Why did I do that? Compare my two wonderfully individual children, who both just happen to have this “label” autism?

I don’t need some grading system to acknowledge that D is way below T’s intellectual level. I know that. I live with them. I see T’s frustration when we’re attempting a family activity and D just doesn’t get what she’s meant to be doing.

Like I mentioned in my What’s in a number post, special needs parenting means that, to a certain extent, you forget about the “numbers”, you focus on your child’s strengths, you adopt a “can do” approach. Dismiss the negatives to the back of your mind and just be grateful of just how much they have achieved….because I am.

What did you think of your child’s school report?  Do you find yourself comparing your children with each other?  Share your stories with us in the comments below.

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Family Friday

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3 Comments

  • We’re not at that stage yet but with just under 2 years between them i’m sure I will compare when it comes to it #FamilyFriday

  • I think it’s easier said than done to rise above stuff like this, but good job if you are able to manage it! I definitely agree that you have a greater grasp of your own child’s achievements compared to numbers on a bit of paper. Thanks for linking up #FamilyFriday

  • My eldest children are twins so I am forever comparing them, even though I try my very hardest not to.
    Oh, and I detest modern ‘pick a sentence’ school reports. I glance over all of that but only really read the hand written bits by the teachers. #FamilyFriday

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