So whats the point? Do reward charts for kids actually work? You sell them – so why on earth should I bother carrying on reading this…you are BIASED….
But wait, yes I am, but not because I sell them….
….because they have helped me with my kids, and continue to help my friends too. They have helped when I have found myself challenged by the determination of kids who are just trying to find their way in life. Kids that needed a little bit of extra guidance.
Some people believe that reward charts shouldn’t be used as they are an external way of showing a child is achieving success. Children should be encouraged to gain reward and a sense of achievement from the feelings they have within themselves, and not from external praise.
But, don’t reward charts give you an opportunity to encourage this sense of achievement from inside?
Don’t an awful lot of our internal feelings come from an external factors:
- A hug after we have hurt ourselves making us feel secure
- A smile from our sister after we told a joke encouraging us to think we might actually be a bit funny
- Stroking our cat and hearing them purr helping us to feel love for our pets, and other animals too?
An opportunity for encouraging our kids to be proud of themselves?
External events and actions often have a profound effect on our feelings about ourselves and the things around us.
Colouring in a chart, or putting a sticker on one gives us parents an opportunity to show with a physical action that we are proud of something our child has done. And most importantly, it reinforces that the child should be proud of themselves too. As long as we remember to say this to them. And to say it often.
It’s critical to remind our children that they should feel proud for the things they have done, whether its managing to wee in the potty for the first time, or not getting cross with their sister because they snatched a toy away from them.
It shouldn’t always be about us, as parents, being proud of them. Saying
“That was really wonderful. You can be really proud of yourself.”
is a wonderful thing for any child to hear, as long as its not said too much, just like anything in life.
Reward charts for kids can give us an obvious time to show our children how well they are doing, and to help them feel great about what they have achieved. Just like everything in life, if you use it how you think it will work with your child, and in moderation, the reward chart can find its place within the parenting toolkit. *cue Heather Small*
Having said that, its OK for you not to want to use one too *didshereallysaythat.* Parenting is all about choices after all.
Image above courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net