Five key lessons the class of motherhood has taught me
I left school a long, long time ago *ahem* Far too long ago to share with you all, but it would appear that life’s lessons never stop. I am currently enrolled on one of the hardest of my life so far and that is the class of motherhood. I have a strong feeling that this lesson, isn’t going to end anytime soon either. There are no “breaks” for a quick snack, or a nice quiet glass of wine. And I am pretty sure that the teacher went AWOL a very long time ago. In fact, the teacher seems to be smaller than I am…. My mother always said that once I have children, they will end up teaching me more than what I teach them. I didn’t quite believe how true this was until my two bundles of chaos entered the world. It would seem that though we spend our lives as parents teaching our children; we are being taught an awful lot about ourselves *sneaky things* Learning to enjoy the small things in life Things that I always took for granted before, such as the shadows dancing on the wall, the details on my fingers, and the soft glow of a bedside lamp; small things, little details – I notice now more than I ever did AND I share them with the children. These wonderful little details allow me to see how amazing life is through the eyes of my kids. Sometimes, I feel like I am discovering the world again. It is SO important to see the world around us as how our kids see it – it helps us to understand things from their perspective. This, in turn, helps us to be more sympathetic to their needs and wants. Learning to play My life before my children revolved around a busy schedule; there was no time to stand still and reflect. Admittedly, life is more hectic now, but having children has forced me to re-evaluate. All my children need is food, rest, sleep, happiness and love; and occasionally chocolate. In fact, that is really what we all strive to achieve too, work is part of our quest for self-fulfilment and the pursuit of happiness and love. Having kids made me re-think what was important, and now means I often put the breaks on in my working life. Sometimes it really is important to get off and look around you. And I mean really look. Learning that I can’t do everything by myself I have always taken pride in being an independent woman, who did not have to rely on anyone. But I quickly learnt that, as a mum and parent, the need for help wasn’t a weakness, it was a necessity. The strength is often in the asking. It is also NOT something that we need be ashamed off. After all, it is no fun travelling through life on our own, we need to share its highs and lows, and to reach out when we need just that little bit of extra support. Learning to let go of control I have always been an organised person that lived by lists, calendars and routines at work, less so in my personal live. Despite my more relaxed attitude to lists at home, I am still a massive control freak – but that manifests itself less with obsessive cleaning, and more with an obsession to try and control my kids creativity…particularly in the kitchen. After the first few attempts at craft and baking didn’t quite do what they said they would on the baking tin/craft box, I pretty soon learnt that standing back was really rather important with my children. If we try and take too much control, we are pretty much guaranteed to either lose it, or ourselves fairly quickly! I am still a control freak; which is why I don’t get on with ski-ing, but I try and leave that part of my personality under the desk when I leave work ;-) Learning not to be selfish I have never considered myself to be a selfish person, but after having the children I realised how self-centred my life really was. My children continue to teach me to be selfless; as their needs are far more important than my own. Sometimes this can be hard, but the rewards are certainly worth it. They do need to learn that they aren’t the centre of the universe of course, so we have to adopt a balanced view here, but generally my requirement as a mum to nuture underpins a lot of my decisions. There are other lessons my kids have taught me too, things like being able to change a nappy one handed while reading a book to the other child, or managing to keep a straight face in a supermarket when your child honks your boobs at the cashdesk. However, perhaps those lessons are for another day…. However, perhaps those “lessons” are for another time….. What have YOUR kids taught you about yourself, we would love to hear.