Competitive Mum

I have written before about trying to beat the urge to be a competitive mum.

It is something that I think that we can all struggle with – we all want our little ones to do well, it’s only a natural parenting instinct.

Pride in our children’s achievements can sometimes spill over into an un-necessary sense of competition between mums, and we can find ourselves comparing where perhaps we shouldn’t be. Whether its where our kids are at school, or that little Freddy was able to walk at 4 months, and reciting passages from Anne Frank at 12; it’s not necessarily a healthy way to be. And it certainly can get on our friends nerves.

The worst time for me was when I was trying to find that all important time to potty train – it seems this can bring out the worst in the most laid back and relaxed of mums….

As a result of my wish to quell all competitive mummy instincts, I was fascinated to find a wee multiple choice survey, while I was wandering about E.On’s Energy Saving Hub *as you do.* The idea was to answer a few questions about how you compare yourself to others; not just as a mum but generally. Some of the questions really got me thinking, including:

What did you post on Facebook on the birth of your first child?

Now I suspect that as Chatterbox is eight my answer might have been coloured by the fact that Facebook wasn’t quite the behemoth that it is today… We didn’t really post anything on Facebook, in fact, we announced it all on email – that was because a) my husband thinks that Facebook is the work of the devil *slight exaggeration* and b) he is terrified of anything that doesn’t involve pedalling really, really fast * he is not a hamster but a cyclist fanatic*

If we had children later in life, I suspect I would have posted a picture, complete with all the right measurements on there – not too much more though. No live births for this gal!

What is your response when a parent asks how old you kids are?

As my kids are painfully honest. I would not get away with lying here, even if I wanted to. Chatterbox will be a lawyer, I am convinced. She remembers rules more than I do; and once when I did accidentally *honestly* get her age wrong, she soon put the ticket lady right. No chance of me being anything other than 100% right here, otherwise it’s an ear bashing from the kids!

What reaction do you have to your child being in the school play chorus?

My daughter makes very sure she knows her lines. If she didn’t have a speaking part, this would not be required, therefore there would be a distinct sense of relief for both my ears, and my ability to keep patience after hearing the same thing every night for three weeks…. Chorus parts are good!

As a result, I seem to be classed as a relaxed observer. This means that I am one of the 35% of people that take a sneaky look at these things from a distance.

I am happy with who I am, and don’t go around comparing with others because of this.

I have worked very hard to create this impression, and its working.

So…..what do I win. *cheeky face.*

Here is a summary of the result as well in rather a funky wee infographic.

Competitive mums

How we compare ourselves to other…

 

This is a collaborative post.

The photo at the top of the post is from Naypong / freedigitalphotos.net

About the author

I'm a mum, a part-time analyst at NelsonHall, and the owner of KiddyCharts, not necessarily in that order, and typically all at once... I have two fantabulus children, Stuntboy and Little Miss Chatterbox, who are the inspiration for my business. They continue to be the driving force of much of what we do in our lives, often when we aren't actually expecting them to be. My long-suffering husband, Brad (ahem), puts up with my rather untidy nature, and haphazard house-keeping (even more ahem) skills. This blog covers my diet coke-induced musings on being a working mum, covering stuff like parenting, reward charts, social media, mummy guilt, which I have a lot of it seems, and anything else that seems relevant or interesting after a shed load of caffeine. I am not trying to be an expert on anything on here, its all about sharing some experiences with a few other people. Hopefully you will find them helpful, interesting, and occasionally they'll bring a knowing smile to your face. So stay for a while, and get to know me, my family and KiddyCharts. Hope you like us all.

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